November 5th Etiquette
Good Morning My People –
After watching the final debate the other night, it dawned on me that Obama could actually win this thing. If that happens, there will be a lot of people (some of our co-workers included) who will be afraid that an Obama presidency will usher in the end of days. They’ll be watching us on November 5th (the day after the election) for signs of the end times.
To keep the peace and keep a lot of folks from getting nervous, I think we should develop a list of acceptable celebrations and behaviors we should probably avoid – at least for the first few days:
1. No crying, hugging or shouting "Thank you Lord" – at least not in public
2 No high-fives – at least not unless the area is clear and there are no witnesses
3 No laughing at the McCain/Palin supporters
4 No calling in sick on November 5th. They’ll get nervous if too many of us don’t show up.
5 We’re allowed to give each other knowing winks or nods in passing. Just try to keep from grinning too hard.
6. No singing loudly, We’ve come this Far By Faith (it will be acceptable to hum softly)
7. No bringing of barbeque ribs or fried chicken for lunch in the company lunchroom for at least a week (no chittlings at all) (this may make us seem to ethnic)
8. No leaving kool-aid packages at the water fountain (this might be a sign that poor folks might be getting a break through)
9. No Cupid Shuffle during breaks (this could indicate a little too much excitement)
10. Please no Moving on Up music (we are going to try to remain humble)
11. No doing the George Jefferson dance (unless you’re in your office with the door closed)
12. Please try not to yell—-BOOOO YAH!
13. Just in case you’re wondering, Doing the Running Man, cabbage patch, or a backhand spring on the highway is 100% okay.
If I’ve missed anything feel free to add to the list. I just want to make sure we’re all on the same page when Obama brings this thing home on November 5th.